Posts tagged joke

What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?

Answer: Life sucks, Job sucks and Wife doesn’t.

Judging Others

An elephant asked a camel, ‘Why are your breasts on your back?’


‘Well,’ said the camel, ‘I think that’s an inappropriate question from somebody whose dick is on his face.’

(moral of the story: DO NOT judge others..)

The Nun and The Hippie

A hippie gets on a  bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down  next to her, and asks her:  ”Can we have sex?”

“No,” she replies,  ”I’m married to  God.” She stands up, and gets off at the next  stop.

The bus driver, who overheard,  turns to the  hippie and says:  
“I  can tell you how to get to  have sex with her!”

“Yeah?”, says the  hippie.

“Yeah!”, say the bus driver.  ”She goes to  the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray,  so all you have to do is dress up in a robe  with a hood,  put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop  up in the cemetery  claiming to be God.”

The hippie decides  to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the  next Tuesday night.

“I am God,” he  declares to the nun,  keeping the hood low about his face.  ”Have sex with  me.”

The nun agrees without question, but  begs him to  restrict himself to anal sex, as she is  desperate not to lose her  Virginity.

‘God’ agrees, and  promptly has his wicked way with her. As he  finishes,  he jumps  up and throws back his hood with a  Flourish.

“Ha-ha,” he cries. “I’m  the  hippie!”

“Ha-ha,” cries the nun.  ”I’m the bus  driver!

What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS?

Answer: A crazy bitch who will find you!