Posts tagged joke

Posted 1 month ago

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What is the difference between medium and rare?

Answer: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Posted 1 month ago

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Word of the day: FOCUS…..

When you are annoyed with someone tell them to FOCUS  

 
Which means … (Fuck Off Cause You’re Stupid!!)

Posted 7 months ago

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Once upon a time………

A Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”  The Princess said, “NO !!!”  
 
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.


The END

Posted 7 months ago

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In honor of Gov. Schwarzenegger, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and all the other Politicians out there

A new Commandment has been added to the Bible. Be sure to write this one in underneath the other Ten Commandments: “Thou shalt not share thy rod with thy staff.”

Posted 1 year ago

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Whiskey Worms A chemistry teacher one day decided to teach his class about the dangers of alcohol. He thought up a neat little experiment, and showed it to his class.He had two glass tumblers, one filled with clean water, and the other with whiskey. He placed a live worm in each glass. The worm in water was perfectly fine, however the worm which was dropped in whiskey died almost instantly.Rather pleased with the experiment, he decided to ask the class what they could deduce from it. The class were silent for several seconds, until one boy at the back called out: “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

Whiskey Worms

A chemistry teacher one day decided to teach his class about the dangers of alcohol.

He thought up a neat little experiment, and showed it to his class.

He had two glass tumblers, one filled with clean water, and the other with whiskey. He placed a live worm in each glass. The worm in water was perfectly fine, however the worm which was dropped in whiskey died almost instantly.

Rather pleased with the experiment, he decided to ask the class what they could deduce from it. The class were silent for several seconds, until one boy at the back called out: “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

Posted 2 years ago

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A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,  “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”“I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don’t exercise at all.”“That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?” “Forty-four,” she replied.

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,  “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”

“I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don’t exercise at all.”

“That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?”

“Forty-four,” she replied.